Some of my clients are old friends. I travel about 4 times a year in Texas and those trips are filled with old friends or friends of old friends. It is always so amazing to catch up with people I haven't seen in YEARS. I love seeing the evolution of someone I knew YEARS AGO.
Natalie is no exception. This woman is a warrior. She has seen her share of pain and disappointment.. Yet she thrives. To me when someone goes thru trauma and still finds room to grow and flourish ... that is a sign of determination and resilience. True strength is shown as we change and grow throughout our life, honoring our true authentic every step of the way.
Sometimes life evolves around us.
All the sudden we're standing in a shitstorm of pain and dismay
...and we didn't even know it was coming.
We don't even get a choice. It just happens.
But- If we are really living and really paying attention...we will change with it.
We will transform from one thing to another...
Sometimes it is a quick painless change...
We have to crumble to rebuild.....
That is the beauty of life.
In those moments...we have choices.
We can choose to stay there and sink in it...
We rise and come clean.
We have to choose to shed and change...
We have to choose to see the light inside of ourselves.
We have to relish in the mud and growth.
Without the pain...there is no pleasure.
Without the old..there is no new.
Without the mess...there is no truth.
Without the hurt..there is no healing.
We change. We evolve. We rise.
*Dedicated to one of my favorite muses...Miss M.*
When this beauty came to me and told me about her journey, I was speechless.
She has lost 80 pounds and really transformed her life!
Learning to love yourself is not always orderly. Sometimes we grow overnight, sometimes it takes longer.
Then sometimes we have moments when our truth is revealed in all its beauty.
It's in those moments that we can feel the potential of who we are.. no past shit weighing us down, no pain, no negativity.. just possibilities and self love.
I saw that moment tonight when Maggie had her session reveal and saw her photos...Proud isn't a strong enough word.
This process isn't easy. Bravery can be fleeting....I honor each and every one of you that moves on their bravery.
When you seize that tiny moment and make a commitment to a session.... you are my heros.
It is this kind of bravery that sears itself into your mind. When you leave I always wonder...What will she do next? XOXOX- Jana V
Angela drove more than 16 hours just to get here.
But in reality... it was more like a lifetime.
It took her a lifetime of tears and shame, many years of pent up fear... and then finally coming to a simple realization.
Love is Love.
And its ok to be undeniably authentic and real.... with everyone in your life.
Because ....this is what bravery looks like.
This is what it looks like when someone comes home to themselves.
This is what it looks like when things come full circle.
This Is what it looks like to abandon your fears and put it all on the line.
I am beyond proud of her.
I First met her when she contacted me about mentoring her for her boudoir photography business. And our business mentoring Turned more to a conversation about being true to yourself and how that can affect every part of your life. After that conversation she did something very brave and she came out to her VIP group. She put her fear aside and decided to honor herself....it was an empowering day for both of us.
It was my full circle. This is why I love this work.
These photo shoots force us to move towards the deeper parts of our mind.
Because we have layers of shit we have to put down in order to get to a place in our heart where we are ready.
We carry insecurities and pain like we need them to survive.
We can be true to ourselves and brave enough to say LOVE is LOVE... Finally.
Venda was such fun to work with! We hit it off immediately when she came into the studio. She has an amazing , genuine spirit! She really brought her A game for her session. I love that shit. To me, when a woman comes into the studio ready to FULLY EMBRACE this process.. it SHOWS!!!! Thank you for trusting me Venda... You are amazing!
“She is free in her wildness, she is a wanderess, a drop of free water. She knows nothing of borders and cares nothing for rules or customs. 'Time' for her isn’t something to fight against. Her life flows clean, with passion, like fresh water.”
― Roman Payne
As women we talk ourselves out of confidence so much that we actually don't even recognize it when we feel it.
It is so foreign to us to actually FEEL GOOD that when we do feel it.... we literally reject it. We keep ourselves in a self made cage.
We shy away from feeling good just because you aren't used to it.
Because it feels too heavy we choose to run.
I think it's time to start letting those feeling sink in.
It's time to let your confidence move forward.
I think we have been sitting in the back long enough.
MUSE: Sarah Cheshire
Yep. JUST Fishnets.
I think they are beyond sexy and really show off your ASSets.
It gives your session an edge and there is no feeling like seeing an image of yourself in nothing but fishnets.
Its not something alot of clients even consider.. but I always encourage you to push past your comfort zone..
Sometimes this is a perfect way to bring out your wilder side!
"I know this is not very humble or yogi of me,
but I really feel like Jana & I are bad asses right now." She said.
Me: "Are you kidding? What is yogi? is self love and appreciation not yogi?
We are so conditioned to feel GUILT when we feel good.
You have earned that warmth!"
That conversation happened a few weeks ago between Leigh and I
when an image of ours was awarded a DMWL Award for 2017.
It sat on my heart for weeks.
Why can't we even accept the fact that-
we may in fact.... be a badass.
It is so ingrained in us to feel GUILTY when we feel GOOD or PROUD.
We have been relentlessly taught that we don't have room for that emotion.
We can't be both PROUD and HUMBLE
at the same time.
We can't feel good and beautiful if somewhere deep inside
we don't really believe it 100%.
If there is one shred of doubt in our minds we fall to THAT.
We CHOOSE that.
I do it too.
We let that simple SHRED of self doubt
rob us of the mountain of joy we have in front of us.
Why does negativity weigh more on the scale
of our mind than positive self love?
Because we have given up our control.
We have given up our mental freedom for a brutal regime of self loathing.
We completely surrendered.
I mean... FUCK...
we can even win awards for that shit
and we STILL refuse to accept our beauty and power.
Because we have fallen to a belief system designed to hold us down.
We actually believe that if we aren't "perfect" ..
we don't deserve to FEEL GOOD.
We have bought into that shit so completely
that we don't even recognize it.
We don't even know we are suffocating
because it's ALWAYS been hard to breathe.
JUST FUCKING STOP.
Decide that your self worth is no longer
determined by your previous beliefs.
Start to recognize your strength..
Start to accept your worth.
Take back your power.
MUSE: Leigh Jacob
Let me explain something...
I hear all the time, " I would do a session... if I looked like THAT" or "I would do a session.... if I was thin like HER". When I hear this it puts fire in my soul... because I hear all of your stories and struggles. I see all of your pain. The truth is... it honestly doesn't matter if you weigh 110 pounds or 375 pounds...we all see a distorted version of ourselves if we haven't known anything else. Society teaches us that... "if you look like this everything will be perfect in your life" or "if you are a size 0 you will be eternally happy and all problems will be solved.
All, of which, are fucking bullshit.
Instead of buying into that shit......
Maybe consider this:
-your physical size on the outside has nothing to do with the weight you carry on the inside.
-consider that everyone has their own issues with their body- no matter what their size.
-Maybe even -love YOURSELF enough to consider the fact that ....just because you lose 20 pounds doesn't mean you are 20 pounds lighter.
This is the truth--
how you see yourself really has very little to do with the shape of your body. It has so much more to do with the shape of your mind.
then -consider booking your session...because maybe it's actually 20 pounds of issues that are weighing you down.