I spent my whole life in a battle with myself. I devoted entire decades to tearing myself down. Entire decades spent believing that I was not .....enough.
Not skinny enough
Not tall enough
Not small enough
Not smart enough
Not talented enough
Not brave enough
But- In reality-
I had enough.
We all do.
inside ourselves, as women, we fight an internal battle.
A daily war.
We fight :
low self esteem
We don't have to.
Not now....Not at this point in our lives.
We still fucking choose it.
We may not have started choosing it today, or yesterday, or the day before.
We may not have chosen to fight that battle initially in our lives.
Most of us don't even know WHEN the first battle cry escaped from our lips.
We don't remember the moment that the internal war was waged against our self esteem.
In fact- most of us aren't even sure who the enemy is.
Either way...somewhere along the way...we make a choice as women to continue to be torn apart by what society and others tells us we aren't.
We believe all the negativity because...
Negativity is our default emotion.
Negativity is that tiny voice that starts off as a whisper and grows into a roar. .
It is that first splinter of self doubt that makes you feel ...less.
Less than beautiful.
Less than amazing.
Less than perfect.
Negativity IS the enemy.
Self Doubt is the culprit.
And both of them are bitches.
They will steal from you.
Lie to you.
Convince you of things that are clearly not true.
They are the enemy.
And they are serious about warfare.
Our minds are the battle field.
Our bodies are the targets.
We have to start taking this battle seriously.
We have to be diligent in our lives when it comes to this war.
We have to change our defaults and start fighting back.
We have to understand that every time that voice on the battlefield whispers something negative and we believe it....we lose a small battle in the bigger war.
Slowly, day by day, we choose that loss.
We make small decisions that plot our failure.
The only way to actually win is to be..
stronger than your enemy
faster than your vilian
smarter than your attacker
And sometimes strength isn't grown overnight.
It isn't something that can just be granted.
It must be earned in small steps.
Sometimes -small steps come disguised in the daily choices we make.
Choosing to believe you are enough.
Choosing to believe that you are beautiful.
Choosing to NOT wage a battle cry within your mind.
Those choices are the ones that make you victorious and free.
You stand in your own battlefield.
Fight for your life.